Pathology (2008)

I do not dislike this 'movie' because it is 'sick' or 'disturbing' or anything else other viewers brand it with. I dislike it because it is unbelievably written, badly acted, and takes itself so seriously that you are hardly even able to laugh at the pure ridiculousness of the script. "Pathology" features poor performances from Milo Ventimiglia (who displays about four or five facial expressions, tops, but mostly gives us his broody face) and Michael Weston (who wins the honor of being the most unbelievable villain of the year.)

Drinking game time.

. Take a drink whenever a cadaver is shown or discussed.

. Take a drink whenever there is unnecessary sex scene.

. Take a drink whenever someone gives someone else a intense or significant look.

. Drink every time you snort at the pure idiocy of the script.

   Ted Grey (disgustingly transparent symbolism in name, check!) is a med student who leaves his girlfriend (Alyssa Milano) to study at a morgue. He is immediately ostracized by the other students. When he makes a 'deep' comment about the innate evil of humanity at a bar, he temporarily wins their respect and they let him in on their secret- they have formed a group where they kill an undesirable member of society and the others try to guess how the murder was committed, using their med school skills.

   The very beginning and the very end are... not bad, but the rest of the movie is so terrible you might have to pinch yourself to stay awake. "Pathology" is full of pseudo-profound comments about the darkness that abides within human beings that an emo eighth-grader could have written. The characters are singularly unlikable- it would be hard to find a more reprehensible bunch than featured in this movie, and I'm not letting Ted off the hook.

  The moral issues behind he killings of the undesirables, as immoral as some of them are, are never explored in any depth (remember, they 'deserve' it,) while some of the scenes are so silly that you'd have to be high on a gigantic amount of cannibus to find any value in them. Take for instance, the scene where Ted and femme fatale med student Juliette (Lauren Lee Smith) get intimate at the scene of the murder they have committed, having passionate sex across from the dead body. Are we supposed to take this shit seriously??

Ooh, better make this face throughout the flick so I look 'intense.'

   Which brings me to another subject, the acting. Ventimiglia can't act. Weston can't act as the main baddie, 'Jake.' Smith tries to play a sexy-but-dangerous stone cold killer, but tries so hard that the performance simply comes off as awkward and inexperienced. The movie continually tries to be as immoral and sleazy as possible, but what does it achieve? Nothing.

   "Pathology", quite simply, is bad. It is so bad, in fact, that I nearly didn't care that my mom's idiot dog was barking in my ear through the second half of the movie because it almost mercifully blocked out some of the awful dialogue. I hated this movie. It is terribly made in almost every respect, and I don't want to hear its title ever again.
                                               Rating-
                                                       2.5/10

American Mary (2012)

Moral depravity, sexual deviation, and extreme body modification are  all on gut-churning display here in "American Mary," a surprisingly polished indie horror film with a impressive performance by Katherine Isabelle.

   As someone who found "The Human Centipede II (Full Sequence)" too strident, I can say I found that "American Mary" had a well-needed (and unnerving) realism that adds a kick to the violent scenes, of which there are many. Oh, boy, you have no idea.

   Mary Mason (Isabelle) is a seemingly normal, attractive aspiring surgeon who is introduced to the world of Extreme Body Modifications. Want laces sewn through your back? 'Need' horns applied to  your head for a more demonic look? Mary is on the job.

The Human Centipede II (Full Sequence) (2011)

Is it nuts to expect more from a movie like "The Human Centipede II" (Full Sequence)? With a premise and set-up like this, what can you expect, except for a few good scares and a whole lotta gore? But with an intriguing killer like Martin, I was actually hopeful, and disappointed by the never-ending, and I suppose inevitable, stream of torture that followed.

   I guess I would have liked to have seen more Martin, less of the centipede. More scathing black humor, less of the gore? Crazy? Maybe. But my love of all things fuck-upedly psychological led me to wish for an entirely different movie.

   I'll be honest and straight-up and admit that I haven't seen Tom Six's controversial original (and at this point I don't think I'll bother.) But to those uninitiated few, I'll describe the original premise to the best of my abilities. Sensitive readers, stop right here. It only goes downhill from here.