Book Review: My Journey as a Combat Veteran by Patrick Thibeault

There is a duality of man. This duality is best explained by looking at a medic or a chaplain in the military. The chaplain’s job is to save souls and the medic’s job is to save lives. Both hate to see the destruction of humanity, yet both belong to an organization that excels at destroying humanity. -- from My Journey as a Combat Medic

While I've never had a special interest in the military, I appreciate the chance to read and review well crafted memoirs by soldiers who have served in war. For me, a book like this is an important piece of living history. It's also a chance to vicariously experience a soldier's life in a way that is neither romanticized nor reconfigured to deliver a heavy "war is hell" message. It's simply an honest story of wartime experiences, conveying the horrors of war along with myriad acts of courage and compassion and other achievements.

Raised as an "army brat," Patrick Thibeault enlisted in the Army after graduating from high school and became a paratrooper and combat medic. In 1990, he was deployed to Operation Desert Shield, and he served in Iraq through Desert Storm. Later he served as a soldier and medic in Afghanistan. My Journey as a Combat Medic: From Desert Storm to Operation Enduring Freedom is his memoir about his experiences. Please see my interview with the author, which conveys the spirit of this book better than I could.

Admit One: My Life in Film by Emmett James

Along with the standard ice cream and popcorn came extraordinary bags of sweets. They were a dentist's worst nightmare, like props from the Land of the Giants, only available in such large sizes thanks to the Odeon cinema chain, all perfectly displayed in front of us. In your day-to-day life you could live happily on a normal pack of Opal Fruits, Maltesers, or a Mars Bar, but in the cinema you needed a wheelbarrow to cart away the king size, jumbo, Henry VIII, fat-bastard packs, sold for gluttonous consumption. The Odeon cinema lobby was like walking into Willy Wonka's factory on a weekly basis. And fuck the golden tickets -- we had tatty, yellow paper tickets given to us by Stubby Knows upon our arrival to hastily grant us entry.

From early childhood, Emmett James has been enchanted by the cinema. Growing up in Croydon, England, he savored family trips to the theater, and he eventually moved to America and become a television and movie actor. In his eloquent and often hysterically funny memoir, he begins each chapter with a movie title and description that offers a clue to the facet of his life explored in that chapter. In a very real sense, movies are the milestones by which he navigates his memories.

James's account of his childhood and adolescence, though laced with sad moments, made me laugh out loud. As an adult, his acting career went awry after he over-zealously tried to land a role in a superhero film. Then he moved to Hollywood, where he had a slippery uphill struggle to success. His adventures included learning to properly crash Oscar Award parties, being lured into lending his talents to a VERY bad rip-off of the Rocky movies, and being led briefly into a life of soft-core porn.

Later, he lands a role in Titanic. I was fascinated by his account of working with James Cameron on this movie. As a director, Cameron had an amazing passion for his project, an incredible memory, and mind-boggling attention to detail. Emmett James's account of his time spent in Mexico, during the filming of this movie, was intriguing, quirky, and at moments, heart wrenching.

It was difficult to believe that the wealth of the American nation was propped up along its border by such poor, needy people. We drove upon row upon row of shantytowns. Wooden shacks these citizens called home, twisting and tumbling as if it was a city made of precariously placed cards under the blistering sun. Doors to their homes were left ajar as if there was nothing worth stealing, filled only with the dignity of their inhabitants.

I thoroughly enjoyed this book. James has a delightful writing style and a knack for storytelling, and his life story took me places I've never been, including a working class English neighborhood and a high-budget movie set. There were several moments when the line between reality and fantasy seemed blurred and I wondered whether an event he described was real or imaginary. But that is why we write memoirs instead of autobiographies -- they offer more artistic license. This is a terrific read, especially for memoir lovers and movie buffs.

Many thanks to Lisa Roe, Online Publicist for sending me a copy of this book to review.

Read More Reviews: Reading Frenzy; Urban Bachelorette; Gramma's Reads  

Rating: 4.5

5- Cherished Favorite	4 - Keep in My Library	3 - Good Read	2 - Meh	1 - Definitely Not For Me

Sunday Shorts: A Round-Up Of Short Book Reviews

This post is a collection of short reviews of some of the books I've read in the past month.

In a Perfect World by Laura Kasischke

This author won me over with The Life Before Her Eyes, and when I finally started In a Perfect World, I couldn't put it down. Jiselle is a thirty-something flight attendant, with an open heart and naive nature, who falls for a pilot. Mark seems perfect -- he's handsome, charming and sexy. Jiselle quickly agrees to marry him, quit her job, and raise his three motherless children. Do you sense trouble coming? 

The story of Jiselle's marriage is one layer of this novel. In the background of her life, the "Phoenix flu" is killing indiscriminately, and no one understands why or how to prevent or treat it. Furthermore, the United States is blamed for this growing worldwide epidemic. We see society change gradually around Jiselle, beginning with occasional electrical blackouts and shortages and ending with a world that is almost unrecognizable.

I love Kasischke's lyrical, poetic writing. Her vivid imagery and attention to detail make her stories seem realistic and concrete, yet you're being drawn into a world in which nothing is quite as it seems. I love the fact that, unlike other dystopian fiction, this novel takes place in a culture that is clearly our own. The apocalyptic events don't come in one dramatic moment. It's a slow progression, painted vividly with realistic details. This made it eerily easy to imagine these events really happening.

In a Perfect World creates an apocalyptic universe interwoven with a drama about falling in love, marriage, and becoming a stepmother. This novel reflects the zeitgeist of post 9/11 America. It's also full of allusions to history, including the Bubonic Plague, and folklore. The author spent a great deal of time researching how cultures respond to plagues. Most of all, however, it's a story about who you become when life demands every bit of strength and fortitude you have -- and more -- and about the glorious and agonizing journey of becoming a mother. 


(4.5/5 stars)

The Story Sisters by Alice Hoffman

Three sisters – Elv, Claire, and Meg -- have a deep bond. They share stories of a secret, magical land and a private language. One summer, after their parents' divorce, things go terribly wrong. While trying to protect Claire, Elv becomes the victim of a vicious, depraved crime. She carries this secret for the rest of her childhood, and it leads her down a tragic path that changes everyone's lives. 


I used to be a devoted reader of Alice Hoffman's books. This is my first in many years. She is the queen of quirky, lyrical magical realism. She weaves together realistic, raw, painful experiences with mythology and fanciful stories. For example, the brutality Elv suffers becomes intertwined with her fantasy world, and she lives in a dark fairy tale. Hoffman is also masterful at intermingling aesthetic beauty with darkness and pain: a necklace made of a bird's bones, a young woman hobbled by guilt and grief making intricate, beautiful jewelry in a tiny, secluded studio, or a tiny black demon, with delicate wings, bringing tragedy and sorrow.

I had mixed reactions to this novel. It is dark and sad, to the point of being emotionally manipulative at times. The characters seem to be relentlessly bombarded by tragedies. Even given the fact that the line between reality and fantasy is porous, as it always is in Hoffman's novels, it sometimes strained credibility for me. 

However, I was often mesmerized by the storytelling, characters, lyrical storytelling, and vibrant imagery. I also found parts of this story deeply moving. One piece of the story that particularly tugged at my gut involved a program in which prison inmates rehabilitate severely abused dogs. This provides some sense of purpose to a very troubled character who has always had a tremendous heart for hurt or suffering animals. At this point, the novel actually made me cry, leaving me with feelings that have stuck with me ever since. 

(3.5/5 stars)

Triggered by Fletcher Wortmann 

Imagine the worst thing in the world. Picture it. Construct it, carefully and deliberately in your mind. Be careful not to omit anything. Imagine it happening to you, to the people you love. Imagine the worst thing in the world.

Now try not to think about it.

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, particularly the "Pure O" kind (uncontrollable obsessive thoughts with relatively few compulsive rituals) may be the most misunderstood mental illness. People continually joke about OCD, which makes me cringe. "I can't stand it if my CDs aren't organized. I'm so OCD." Or they imagine it's just a frenzy of hand-washing and lock-checking. The reality is generally much darker and definitely not funny.

Anyone who knows me understands that severe OCD, particularly the "Pure O" kind, is a subject painfully close to my heart. Wortmann describes it, from the inside out, so much better than any other writer I have seen. His account of his experiences is sometimes cerebral, sometimes raw and confusing, and sometimes absolutely brilliant. And much of the book was hilarious. As a person who gets through pain with dark humor, I felt like I "got" it -- I kind of wanted to take this young author out and buy him a drink. He definitely has a keen intellect and a sharp wit, and at times he reveals himself with painful honesty. The book made me laugh out loud and cry at the same time.

(4.5/5 stars)

Thura's Diary by Thura al-Windawi

This is the journal of a nineteen-year-old girl living in Baghdad. Before the arrival of U.S. troops in March, 2003, she is a pharmacy student at her local college. She and her family have lived with hardship due to UN-imposed economic sanctions. Thura's sister Aula, who is diabetic, has difficulty getting insulin. But for the most part they have lived an ordinary, comfortable middle-class life.

As this diary opens, the residents of Baghdad are watching the vise tighten. U.S. President George W. Bush has given Saddam Hussein and his sons 24 hours to resign and avert an invasion. Demonstrators on the streets chant "Stop the war!" and many people are scrambling to leave the city. The wealthiest people are able to get away from Baghdad, while the poor are left behind.

Soon Baghdad is being bombed day and night. The family leaves the windows open, despite the cold outside, to avoid shattered glass, and Thura and her sisters huddle under blankets, shivering with cold and fear. Hundreds of civilians are killed, either by American bombs or Iraqi anti-aircraft guns. People bury their loved ones in their yards, because they can't reach the graveyards in this war-torn city. The Iraqi government also burns enormous amounts of oil, hoping the smoke will make it more difficult for American bombers to hit their targets, and breathing is painfully difficult.

For a while, Thura and her family retreat to her grandmother's house in the country. It is a dramatic adjustment for Thura. She is used to city life, where women are relatively free and are encouraged to get an education. In the country, women are raised only to be wives and mothers, and they have to keep their heads down in public and cover themselves in the traditional Muslim manner.

Gradually, society unravels, Iraqis begin killing one other and looting each other's homes and even in Baghdad, women begin to lose the freedoms they've enjoyed.

Women who don't wear the headscarves are being kidnapped by men who think their behaviour is disrespectful to our religion. It's much safer to wear a headscarf; that way you don't draw any attention to yourself. People are having their cards stolen, and there are even children carrying weapons and fooling around with them, as if they were acting out an Arnold Schwarzenegger or Jean-Claude van Damme film. There are ten and twelve-year-olds wandering about with machine guns, and the only thing that stops them is if an American comes along and takes their weapons away. (p. 97)

I found this book both fascinating and moving. Much of this war, for me, has been a series of superficial images. Here in the U.S., the men and women who serve in the military, along with their families, have borne the sacrifice for all of us. I have been troubled by our media's coverage of the war. We have seen neither the extremes of good or evil. We haven't been permitted to see our dead soldiers being carried away, presumably to avoid the "low morale" this caused during the Vietnam War. We've been kept at a distance from the suffering of the Iraqi people, as well as the suffering of our own soldiers. We haven't really seen our government's acts of violence, nor have we seen our soldiers' daily acts of courage and kindness.

Thura's Diary gave me a glimpse of all this, and let me see, hear, and feel her experiences. I saw the events that unfolded in 2003 from a different angle and experienced the humanity of both Iraqi civilians and American and British soldiers.

I highly recommend this book for middle grade readers and teens as well as adults. There is a wealth of opportunities for discussion here, about contemporary history, war, and human experiences.



Read another review of this book at Teen Book Review.


Rating: 4

5- Cherished Favorite	4 - Keep in My Library	3 - Good Read	2 - Meh	1 - Definitely Not For Me

Parallel Play: Growing Up With Undiagnosed Asperger's by Tim Page

In the years since the phrase became a cliche, I have received any number of compliments for my supposed ability to "think outside the box." Actually it has been a struggle for me to perceive just what these "boxes" were -- why they were there, why other people regarded them as important, where their borderlines might be, how to live safely within and without them. My efforts have only partly succeeded; at the age of fifty-three, I am left with the melancholy sensation that my life has been spent in a perpetual state of parallel play, alongside, but distinctly apart from, the rest of humanity. (p. 3)

Tim Page was a gifted child and, encouraged by his devoted mom and his quirky, intellectual dad, he explored his interests freely. His teachers were concerned about his abysmal performance in school, and he had to undergo all sorts of testing, both for his giftedness and his limitations. Yet he was an autodidact, passionate about music, writing, and old films. He explored all kinds of music, including classical, opera, and rock, created interesting stories, and wrote, directed and filmed his own movies.

In adolescence, an age in which people become acutely aware of their differences and their yearning to connect with others, he struggled with depression. This is a common experience, especially among those of us who are wired a little differently. However, he went on to pursue his dreams and became a music reviewer for the Washington Post; he won a Pulitzer Prize for his work in 1997. He is also the father of three sons.

In 2000, at the age of 45, he received an Asperger's diagnosis, a label that had not been officially on the books until 1994. He was surprised and also felt liberated -- he knew he was not alone. With his growing self insight, and his incredible gift with words, he penned this memoir. It was an opportunity to tell his story and to help readers grasp this much misunderstood condition.

We are informally referred to as "Aspies," and if were are not very, very good at something we tend to do it very poorly. Little comes naturally -- except for whatever random, inexplicable, and often uncontrollable gifts we may have -- and, even more than most children, we assemble our personalities unevenly, in bits and pieces, almost robotically, from the models we admire. (p. 6)

I won't beat around the bush; I loved this book. I read it in one sitting, mesmerized by Page's beautiful writing, his insights, and his edgy sense of humor. At moments I was deeply moved, and I was often laughing hysterically. His description of his childhood felt familiar to me on several levels. For example, he described eloquently how he came to really understand death at the tender age of four and already distrusted religious answers and comfortable platitudes. This reminded me intensely of one of my children, whose insight and understanding of these issues was beyond her years, unleashing emotions her preschooler's heart was not prepared to cope with. And some of his struggles in school, often driven by his inability to focus on what was "important," could have been lifted from my autobiography.

I also enjoyed the glimpses of his ambivalent feelings toward his younger siblings. These problems are certainly common, but they seemed to be intensified a bit by the anger stemming from Timmy's inability to fit in.

...I was especially jealous of Betsy, who had been born about twenty months after I was. Once, when I was about two, I was caught throwing handfuls of sand and dirt on her as she screamed in her baby carriage. I envied our pediatrician his privilege of sticking needles into he unwanted intruder and making her cry, something that I knew would have gotten me into serious trouble. "Timmy continually uses violent language" my mother noted in her diary. "This afternoon, he got very angry and came up with a real prize: "Betsy, I'm going to smash your little bones!" (pp. 21-22)

In addition to hearing Page's personal story, the reader gets a lighthearted tour through contemporary history, from the apocalyptic mindset of the Cold War, during the 50's and 60's, to the acid-laced culture of the 1970's. I loved the author's dry humor and his honesty in describing the awkwardness of his early sexual encounters and his disastrous experiences with recreational drugs. He also allowed intense affection and sadness to shine through, as when he described the death of adolescent friends in alcohol-related accidents.

I loved the way Page illuminated the way he sees the world, and much of it resonated with me. I wish he had delved more deeply into his relationships with peers. I got a clear sense of his emotions, his connections to other people, and his struggles to relate to others. And I got a peek at various friends from childhood and adolescence. Some of his escapades with friends were hilarious or heart-wrenching. However I would have loved to have gotten a better sense of how he formed friendships, given his difficulty at "reading" other people and having reciprocal conversations, and of the quality of these relationships. I am hopeful that, in time, he will write another book about himself, just as beautifully crafted, insightful, and funny, that will explore these questions further.

I highly recommend this book, especially to people who enjoy memoirs or are interested in Asperger's Syndrome.

Rating: 4.5

5- Cherished Favorite	4 - Keep in My Library	3 - Good Read	2 - Meh	1 - Definitely Not For Me

Saving Sammy: The Boy Who Caught OCD by Beth Alison Mahoney

Saving Sammy: Curing the Boy Who Caught OCD is Beth Alison Maloney's memoir about her pre-teen son's struggle with an unusual form of obsessive compulsive disorder. In a lovely, eloquent writing style that flows like a good novel, she tells her story. With close attention to the cycles of nature, the author paints vivid details that take you through all the seasons in coastal Maine. And with the same attention to detail, she makes her family's day-to-day experiences tangibly and heart-wrenchingly real.

When 12-year-old Sammy began to have trouble coping, Beth attributed it to his adjustment to the transitions in their lives. Beth, an attorney and devoted single mom, had moved from California to Maine with her three sons a year earlier. They were now in the process of moving from their beloved rental house by the sea into the new home she'd purchased. So when Sammy started developing odd compulsions, she believed "this too shall pass."

However, his compulsions increased exponentially, and he suffered constant, debilitating anxiety. Each day, he went through a series of complicated rituals. It began with drinking the same five juices, one after another, each morning. He had to complete a series of complicated motions every time he entered the bathroom or came into the house. These included swirling his legs, ducking, crawling, rolling his head on his neck, stepping sideways, or high-stepping over invisible walls. He avoided mats, doors, and faucets, and he couldn't shower or brush his teeth. He had difficulty touching anything or being touched, and even casual hugs were impossible. He couldn't attend school, and he rarely met friends or enjoyed outside activities. His condition eventually took over the family's entire life.

Sammy was treated, with psychoactive drugs, for the chemical imbalance that is presumed to cause OCD. However, the medications didn't help. Thus began a long journey through psychiatrists, neurologists and other specialists. With fierce dedication, Beth researched his condition. As options dwindled, she faced every mom's worst nightmare. She watched her son, worn down by fear, anxiety, and isolation, begin to lose hope.

Eventually, Beth did get some hard-won answers. She heard about a condition called PANDAS in which OCD can be caused by exposure to strep throat, even if the child was asymptomatic and even if there was a negative strep throat culture. At this point the long trip to recovery began.

Obsessive-compulsive disorder in children is a topic very close to my heart. Most parents of kids with mental illness and other challenges won't find a clear-cut medical answer or a "cure." Nevertheless, I think all parents of kids with complicated needs will connect deeply with this book. Beth Maloney does an amazing job of recreating the struggles many families with challenges face: the social isolation of not being able to participate in "normal" activities, the heartbreak of seeing ones child suffer, and the all-consuming need to uncover some answers. Her passionate love for her sons shines through on every page, and I believe this is a book all parents will connect with. I highly recommend this both as an lovely memoir and a way to spread the word about a typically misunderstood and misdiagnosed condition.

Read more reviews of this book:
Diane at Bibliophile by the Sea
MostlyFiction Book Reviews
Susan at Bloggin' About Books


Rating: 4

5- Cherished Favorite	4 - Keep in My Library	3 - Good Read	2 - Meh	1 - Definitely Not For Me

A Long Way Gone: Memoirs of a Boy Soldier by Ishmael Beah

Interview with Ishmael Beah on The Daily Show

Ishmael Beah was twelve years old when civil war came to his village in Sierra Leone. Until then, he'd gone to school with his brother and hung out with his friends. He loved rap music and the music of Bob Marley. He'd planned to enter a hip-hop dance contest with with his brother and several buddies.

After the war started, he, his brother, and a few friends spent their days walking from village to village, scrounging for bits of food and hiding from the rebel troops who were killing, raping, and razing villages as they looted each community for food and supplies. Eventually he was recruited, along with many other boys, into the government army. Indoctrinated and drugged, he began to gleefully participate in atrocities -- things that came back in nightmares and flashbacks after he was rescued from the battlefield by a UNICEF mission.

This memoir is incredibly vivid. I felt like I was seeing the West African landscape, feeling the scorching sun on the beach, and experiencing the hunger, brutality and fear. Throughout the blood-drenched narrative, I caught glimpses of Ishmael's rural Sierra Leone culture -- a place woven together by farming, traditional values, and storytelling. I also saw glimmers of extraordinary kindness and courage among the scenes of cruelty and battle.

This is an incredible book. On one level, it was a vivid, evocative memoir that, while painful to read, drew me in with its imagery and powerful storytelling. And while there has been controversy about the accuracy of the book, it's an important primary source on contemporary history. It is also a study of humanity -- it helped me more deeply understand violence and gave me a glimpse at recovery from a life of unimaginable horror.

I highly recommend it for mature teens and adults. It is one of the most powerful books I have read.

Also see Rebecca's review of this book on Lost in Books


Rating: 4

5- Cherished Favorite	4 - Keep in My Library	3 - Good Read	2 - Meh	1 - Definitely Not For Me

Persepolis by Marjane Satrapi

This is only the second graphic novel I've picked up, and I fell in love with it. I read it all in one sitting; I laughed, I cried, and at moments, I was speechless with rage. The events in this book were not new to me, but I felt I was looking at them from a fresh perspective, in a way that was more immediate and personal.

The stark black and white drawings seemed deceptively simple at first glance, but they are actually richly detailed and expressive, and the images wedged themselves in my mind more sharply than words could. Is it possible that at my advanced age, I'm about to become a convert to graphic novels? Hmm...


Marjane Satrapi's graphic memoir guides us through the events surrounding the Islamic Revolution in Iran, starting in 1979. She was about 10 years old when the Shah was overthrown, an event that, after years of harsh oppression, her family celebrated with other Iranians. Marjane Satrapi is of my generation, but I witnessed these events from a great distance, as if I saw them through the wrong end of a telescope. I remember our sadness and anger over the capture of American hostages in the U.S. Embassy -- fellow citizens wrenched from their families by shadowy evil-doers. I knew nothing about the fate of Iranians at that time, and I wouldn't understand until years later why they blamed the U.S. for the actions of their deposed Shah -- that simply wasn't part of our history curriculum. I hope children today are being educated through a wider lens.

Ten-year-old Marjane's parents are intellectual Marxists -- Marxists who drive a Cadillac and have a maid who takes her meals alone in the kitchen. Marjane is beginning to question these inconsistencies, but this is overshadowed by the turmoil all around her. Friends and relatives are escaping the clutches of the Shah's regime, only to be ensnared by the Islamic Revolution, and the war with Iraq begins.
This book has amazing depth. We are guided through this part of Iran's history and tutored in the politics and philosophy surrounding these events in a way that's simple but thought provoking. We're absorbing these things through the mind of a young girl who's struggling to understand what's happening in her world.

Dark images of violence and death blend seamlessly with the story of Marjane's coming of age, which includes scenes from the schoolyard and her relationship with God; it also offers glimpses of her adolescent rebellion and her love of Western music and clothes. With few words needing to be said, we intensely feel the love among her family members and friends. We experience the constant fear and paranoia, as the vise of the new regime closes around them. Yet there are moments that are surprisingly funny. All this combines to create a story that is heart-wrenching, humorous, and rich in food for thought.

As soon as I finished this, I immediately reserved Persepolis II and the movie adaptation of Persepolis at the library. I am hoping I can involve my family in reading the books or watching the film with me. I am salivating over the potential for discussion -- about contemporary history, our country's role in Mideast history, and life in a theocracy. Religious freedom is something we blessedly take for granted, though there are ripples in the U.S. urging us to replace secular law with "God's law." This book also offers potential for discussion about how childhood can be shaped by fear and violence and also by courage and love.

Read More Reviews: Eclectic/Eccentric; Caribousmom; Small World Reads; Good Books and Wine


Rating: 4.5

5- Cherished Favorite	4 - Keep in My Library	3 - Good Read	2 - Meh	1 - Definitely Not For Me

Persepolis 2 by Marjane Satrapi

This autobiographical graphic novel picks up where Persepolis left off, bringing Marjane into young womanhood. As the novel opens, she is living in Austria. Wanting their beloved only child to leave Iran, where the vise of the Fundamentalist Muslim government continues to tighten, her parents arranged for her to live with an Austrian friend. The new family does not embrace her, however, and Marjane goes to live in a boarding house run by nuns, contemplating the irony of having escaped one staunchly religious environment only to end up in another.

Living and going to school in a Western society is a radically different experience for her. There is the language barrier -- Marjane doesn't speak German. And she is surrounded by teens who dabble in nihilistic philosophy, babbling about the meaninglessness of life without ever having experienced war or death firsthand. Marjane desperately wants to fit in with her Austrian peers and find her niche. But when she does, she feels she's betraying her Iranian identity, turning her back on on her war-torn homeland and the beloved relatives who died standing up for freedom. She struggles through isolation, academic failure, drug abuse, and first love. Then she eventually returns to Iran. There she is surrounded by loving relatives and friends, but she finds that her return to her own culture, after the freedom she enjoyed in Western Europe, is wrenching. And her conflicts about her identity don't fade away.

I loved this book just as much as Persepolis. Again a short book with simple, almost stark illustrations camouflages an incredibly rich story which weaves together Iranian history and politics, a bit of dry humor, and a painfully honest story of growing up and early adulthood. This author isn't afraid to reveal moments when she was cowardly or cruel, including one passage that actually kept me awake part of the night. The result is a fully developed, flesh and blood character I'll never forget.

As I was reading Persepolis II, I kept remembering Ana's post on literature being either a homecoming or a journey to a foreign land. If you haven't read that post and the discussion thread under it, I highly recommend it. :-) Ana quoted Alberto Manguel:

What is this homecoming? It can be argued that we perceive the world in one of two ways—as a foreign land or as home—and that our libraries reflect both these opposing views. As we wander among our books, picking at random a volume from the shelves and leafing through it, the pages either astound us by their difference from our own experience or comfort us with their similitude. The greed of Agamemnon or the meekness of Kim’s lama are to me utterly foreign; Alice’s bewilderment or Sinbad’s curiosity reflect again and again my own emotions. Every reader is either a pausing wanderer or a traveller returned.

Persepolis II is literally a tale of a journey to a foreign land and a homecoming. And for me it offered some of the best of both experiences -- reading Marjane's story, I felt like both a wanderer and a traveler returned. Many of her experiences were unfamiliar to me. I know little about Iranian culture. I have never lived through war or political oppression. I have spent my entire life in blissful ignorance of what it's like to be deprived of religious freedom or to lose over a million countrymen to war. And I've never been viewed as a "third world" person by Westerners.

At the same time many of the experiences she described were poignantly familiar: feeling adrift in adolescence and early adulthood, struggling to make a disastrous relationship work, and being horrified at what one has become and scrambling to begin anew. In this story, I saw reflections of myself at 14, 17, and 19 and I loved the author's honesty and humor in delving into her own youth.
There is something about this combined experience -- already knowing what it's like to travel a certain path, yet following it through a completely new landscape -- that is so enriching. Instead of feeling I'm reading about another life and another culture, I feel I'm there, and I absorb a bit of it into myself. I think that is one of the best things multicultural literature accomplishes.

Read More Reviews: Zen Leaf; Caribousmom; Book Nut


Rating: 4.5

5- Cherished Favorite	4 - Keep in My Library	3 - Good Read	2 - Meh	1 - Definitely Not For Me

Bad Mother: A Chronicle of Maternal Crimes, Minor Calamities, and Occasional Moments of Grace by Ayelet Waldman

Ayelet Waldman was a highly driven, successful defense attorney, married to a full-time novelist, when she left her job to become a full-time mom to her first child, Sophie. Fifteen years later, she is writing about her experiences with marriage and motherhood. Bad Mother was not what I expected. I checked it out expecting a memoir, and while revelations about the author's life run throughout the book, it's actually a group of loosely connected essays. They explore marital roles, breast-feeding, maternal guilt, and other topics that are familiar to many of us.

I am not sure Waldman represents the "typical" mom, as she is clearly highly educated and upper middle class. As she was expressing mild guilt over hiring maids to help with housework, I was thinking about the years my husband and I couldn't afford heating fuel. :-) However her essays are beautifully articulate, a bit edgy, and often laugh-out-loud funny. As a mom, I could relate closely to most of what she had to say; at times, reading these essays was like chatting with a friend.

The first topic she discussed was the unrealistic expectations and judgments we mothers put on ourselves and each other.

.

Being a Good Father is a reasonable, attainable goal; you need only be present and supportive. Being a Good Mother, as defined by mothers themselves, is impossible. When asked for an example of a Good Mother, as defined by mothers themselves, the women I polled came up with June Cleaver and Marmee, from Little Women. Both of whom are by necessity, not coincidence, fictional characters. The good Mother does not exist, she never existed, not even in those halcyon bygone days to which the arbiters of maternal conduct never tire of harking back. If the producers of Leave it to Beaver had really wanted to give us an accurate depiction of late 1950s and early-1960s motherhood, June would have had a lipstick-stained cigarette clamped between her teeth, a gin and tonic in her hand, and a copy of Peyton Place on her nightstand. But still, this creature of fantasy is whom the mothers in my sample measured themselves against, and their failure to live up to her made her feel like Bad Mothers. It's as if the swimmer Tracy Caulkins, winner of three Olympic gold medals, setter of five world records, were to beat herself up for being slower than the Little Mermaid. (p. 11)

Other topics explored:

• Some parents are incredibly dogmatic about parenting philosophy, and this often seems to pop up in relation to attachment parenting discussions. Despite some of the rhetoric I've seen on the interwebs, there's no solid evidence that my kids will grow up to be serial killers because I didn't wear them in a sling for the first nine months, sleep with them, or breastfeed until they were in graduate school. I appreciated that Waldman was on the same wavelength. ;-)
• Roles partners adopt in a marriage, whether they be traditional, egalitarian, or mixed. While Waldman considers herself a feminist, she never changes a light bulb. :-)
• Keeping intimacy and passion alive after marriage and children.
• Her experiences with seeking parenting support on the internet.
• Teenage sexuality, her own sexually adventurous youth, and how she talks to her kids about physical intimacy.
• The burdens of homework.
• That unrequited longing for another baby, that just won't quite die.

She also explored parents' inflated hopes and expectations for their kids' development. Her family lives in Berkley, in the heart of an academic community, and intellectual achievement is clearly important to her. But she has learned to leaven this with realism and allowing herself to live in the moment. I liked this passage:

When Rosie was little, she was a slow talker ... She would sit on the floor, her fat legs stretched out in front of her, as I built and rebuilt a tower of blocks, , laughing each time I toppled it over. I was so busy saying, "Rosie can you say 'boom'? Say 'boom' for Mommy," that I barely registered her full-body smile, the way every inch of her, from her cornflower blue eyes to the pink tips of her toes, wriggled as she grinned at the tower's collapse. The most toxic thing parents can do is allow their delight and pride in their children to be spoiled by disappointment, by frustration, when the children fail to live up to expectations formed before they were even born, expectations that have nothing to do with them and everything to do with the parents' own egos. (pp. 205-206)

There were several things that touched me deeply. I connected with Waldman's account of her son's diagnosis with ADHD and coming to terms with the unexpected twists presented by a child's learning differences. I was also moved by her disclosure that she's bipolar and struggled with the decision to use medication during pregnancy. I went through this too. I had to make a choice, with each of my last two pregnancies, whether to use medication for anxiety and depression. Despite my severe history with my mood disorder, which runs in my family, and although increasing medical evidence indicates that SSRI use during pregnancy and nursing is safe, this was very difficult.

I also related to Waldman's fear that her children would inherit her illness. She wrote about constantly gauging her kids' emotions and reactions, looking for signs of bipolar disorder. She also described the stress her illness puts on her children. This almost made me cry.

I recommend this book if you enjoy essays and memoirs and motherhood is a topic close to your heart. I also think it would be a great book club pick. There is enough fodder for discussion here to keep you up well into the night.  

Other Reviews: The Book Lady's Blog; A Good Stopping Point 


Rating: 3.5

5- Cherished Favorite	4 - Keep in My Library	3 - Good Read	2 - Meh	1 - Definitely Not For Me

Broken Birds by Jeannette Katzir

Katzir's articulate, well written memoir is really three separate stories. The first two stories tell how each of her parents survived the Holocaust. Her mother, Channa, joined her brother in a band of Partisans when she was just 12 years old. They lived in the forest, waging guerrilla warfare against the Germans. The author's father, Nathan, survived the ghettos and two concentration camps. They met in New York after the war and began a family; their survival and the births of their five children were an affirmation of life and a triumph over Hitler.

The third story was about the life of the author, Channa and Nathan's second child. Most of it focused on the long, grueling legal battle that followed their mother's death. This enmeshed family, including the author, her father, and four siblings, fought over Channa's estate, churning up a lifetime of rivalries, heartbreak, and pain. The effects of her parents' wartime experiences, particularly Channa's, run throughout the story.

We see how their family's life was shaped, in part, by the lasting terror and insecurity this imprinted on Channa. She was terrified her husband would abandon her, and this warped their relationship. She hid large amounts of cash in various places. After all, when her family was seized by the Nazis and moved to the ghetto, they could carry only what they were able to hide in their clothing. And she conditioned her children to expect the worst from life and distrust anyone outside the family.

The parts at the beginning and near the end of this book, which dealt directly with the Holocaust, were by far the most powerful. I was absorbed in Channa and Nathan's experiences during the Holocaust. Near the end of the book, Nathan returned to his homeland with three of his children. They looked at places where he lived his early life, where he was imprisoned, and where he escaped. They faced baffling denial in modern day Germany about the Holocaust. This part of the story was riveting.

The author's account of her life, and of battles fought with her siblings, were not as compelling. She made a case that everything that happened stemmed from her parents' experiences in Europe; they were deeply scarred, and they handed these wounds down to their children. I don't challenge this. The author knows her family best, and I believe family history causes ripples that last for generations. Yet while I find the impact of their suffering on their children and grandchildren an intriguing topic, this didn't fully come together. A great deal of the conflict was about money and business squabbles, and this thread wasn't enough to hold the whole narrative together.

On the other hand, there are many things I liked about this book. In addition to the parts exploring the Holocaust, there were many things that moved me, including the author's description of her mother's deterioration and death. And I was intrigued with the way she came to understand her troubled, complex parents, loving them even as she faced their flaws. For most people, this is a complicated, ongoing journey that doesn't end after childhood, and Jeanette Katzir explored it eloquently.

Other Reviews: The Bookworm; The New Podler Review of Books


Rating: 3

5- Cherished Favorite	4 - Keep in My Library	3 - Good Read	2 - Meh	1 - Definitely Not For Me

Swish by Joel Derfner

I recently won a random drawing at the GLBT Reading Blog and was offered my choice from a long list of excellent books. :-) I saw several novels on the list which I already wanted to read. However, I thought the point of a reading challenge -- and of a giveaway like this -- was to pick up something I might never have looked at otherwise. I had never heard of Joel Derfner, but his website made me laugh. Anybody who can make me laugh is someone whose company I want to share for a few evenings, even if it's through the pages of a book. :-)

So I took a chance on his memoir, Swish: My Quest to Become the Gayest Person Ever and What Ended Up Happening Instead. Joel is a gifted composer and author with a background in linguistics. He has a delightfully rich vocabulary, a gorgeous writing style, and a magnificent, edgy sense of humor that made me want to invite him over to share a pitcher of margaritas. There were parts of the book I loved, other parts I was lukewarm about, and a few bits that made me go "huh?" :-D But let's face it, when a man can write like that, there's no way I'm putting the book down. He starts each chapter by delving into one of his vocations or hobbies -- whether it be knitting, aerobics, cheerleading or being a go-go dancer in a gay bar. Then he segues into other aspects of his life, including his relationship with his parents, his feelings about Judaism, and his experience of coming out as a homosexual. At moments, we're sharing his awe and passion when creating music, at others we're tagging along on his adventures in casual sex, via an online hook-up site.

It's a colorful, unpredictable ride. If this were a work of fiction, I'd be lauding the author for his complex character development. Joel Derfner, as he appears in this book, runs the gamut. At times, he appears agonizingly insecure, the soul of a ninth grader -- perpetually humiliated and longing to fit in -- in a man's body. I imagine we all have a sliver of that. At moments he seems judgmental and petty, with a secret sense of superiority over people who can't punctuate. :-) At other times he is incredibly insightful and compassionate. I love the fact that he was fearless in showing us these many facets of himself. I got to know the whole person, and I came to care about him more deeply than I'd expected.

The thing I liked most about this book, as I've mentioned, was the writing. I loved the fact that it sent me to the dictionary, multiple times, because that doesn't happen often lately. (Maybe I should be reading more challenging books?) There are luminous moments, and I love the way they're carelessly tangled with silly, mundane things -- life is like that. This passage describes Joel's life after he had to give up singing, for health reasons, and began composing music instead:

Because the glee I feel when I surprise myself composing is real, but I feel it only because I have lulled to sleep the memory of what infinity feels like, and I am afraid of what might happen if I woke that memory up. I love my life because a part of me has learned how to give up hope, and that, I suspect, is a dangerous lesson to unlearn. As I sat at my friends' piano my fingers eventually assumed a position they had not held for years, and then I opened my mouth: "Gentle airs, melodious strains," I sang, picturing the dust motes shimmering in a Boston chapel. But when I got to the next part, when I was supposed to sing "call for raptures out of woe," neither my hands nor my throat could remember what to do.

Another thing that captivated me about this book was his brief story of living with a form of obsessive compulsive disorder. This illness has touched my family profoundly, as some of you know, and Joel's description of his struggle broke my heart. "I was able to wrench about 5 percent of my attention to eating and bathing ... while the rest of my brain was devouring itself like an ouroboros." That may be the single most wonderful metaphor I have ever read. I was also fascinated with his exploration of his sexuality. This includes his tongue-in-cheek odyssey to live a quintessentially gay lifestyle -- complete with teaching aerobics, cheerleading, and go-go dancing as well as being a musical theater composer.

But it goes deeper, and it eventually leads him to go undercover to a conservative Christian conference for ex-gays -- people who have given up "the lifestyle" for Jesus. This environment seemed foreign to him in every way. I was afraid he wouldn't look past this one-dimensional image of the Christian faith, not to mention the ludicrous, heart-wrenching position in which these individuals found themselves. However, he sought to compassionately understand the men he met at the conference and used the opportunity to reflect on the similarities and differences between their beliefs and his own Jewish faith and on his own journey toward self-acceptance as a gay man.

This memoir is beautifully written, thought-provoking and funny -- I highly recommend it to adult readers. It is definitely rated NC-17 for some of the themes explored and for some explicit sexuality. In other words, you might learn more than you want to know about Joel Derfner's sex life. If you're cool with that, go for it!

Thank you again to GLBT Reading Blog and to Joel Derfner for generously giving me a copy of this book. Read More Reviews at The Book Pirate and A Striped Armchair 

Rating: 4.5

5- Cherished Favorite	4 - Keep in My Library	3 - Good Read	2 - Meh	1 - Definitely Not For Me

A Hundred Feet Over Hell: Flying with the Men of the 220th Recon Airplane Company Over I Corps and the DMZ, Vietnam 1968-1969 by Jim Hooper

I don't believe in war, but I deeply respect the people who fight it. Along with their families, they are bearing sacrifices for the rest of us. As the wife of a police officer, I've had glimpses into the world of those who serve in dangerous situations and the bonds that form among people whose lives depend on one another. But I have no experience with military life, and I was fascinated by my vicarious experiences in this book.

When Bill Hooper returned to Florida after being injured on active duty in Vietnam, he was angry. It was not a reaction to having suffered a brutal ordeal in an unpopular war. He was angry about being home. He was separated from his military family, the men he was committed to serving and protecting. At first, this was difficult for his brother Jim to understand. Decades later, after surviving his own combat experiences as a war correspondent in Africa and the Balkans, Jim began to explore Bill's Vietnam experiences. After extensive research and interviews with men who served with Bill, this book took shape.

The author seamlessly wove together first-person accounts of soldiers with his own narrative. It flowed smoothly, and I came to really care about the people whose voices filled the pages. There's also a great deal of action in this book. I agree with another reviewer, Julie at My Book Retreat, who wrote: "Reading this book was like watching a war movie. It was full of action "scenes" where Catkiller pilots are flying over the DMZ taking enemy fire, while relaying vital information about troop locations, and guiding fighter pilots to fire at the VC troops while avoiding the friendlies."

Shortly after arriving in North Vietnam, Bill shot his first human targets. He was flying over an area that had been declared a Freefire Zone because the North Vietnamese used it to move weapons and supplies -- anyone spotted there would be shot on sight. When he killed several people herding buffalo, a comrade shouted triumphantly, "You got both of them!" Only later, in the privacy of his room, did Bill shed tears. Soon Bill adapted to his duties, and in time he became, in his own words, "addicted to combat." As I became absorbed in the experiences of these men, I understood what he meant. Bill asked to be reassigned to the "Catkillers" of the U.S. Army's 220th Reconnaissance Airplane Company where he served for the rest of his time "in country." The Catkillers flew dangerous missions close to the ground, almost daily, providing support to ground forces. As one reviewer, at Orvilleville, noted, "In the second war of the Jet Age, the Bird Dog was a very unglamorous aircraft, but to the men on the ground, having a Bird Dog overhead was like having your own personal guardian angel.."

The reasons for the war they were fighting seemed unclear. But these men were passionately focused on their mission, to support each other and save American lives. Some parts of this book are actually laugh out loud funny. These young men escaped the pressures of combat by cutting loose during their downtime, and many of their experiences are hilarious. For example, one night a bunch of guys were in the middle of a poker game when the camp was struck by enemy fire. "Wisby was yelling at us to get to the bunker, but we just sat there because of all the cash on the table. There had to be $500 in that pot! Rockets were impacting everywhere. Then the lights went out. Everyone had a Zippo, and we got a candle lit and finished the hand. I thought we were going to die for sure." (p. 53)

Other parts of the book are infuriating. We see the brutality faced by both soldiers and Vietnamese civilians on a daily basis and the lack of support our serviceman received from the South Vietnamese, who they were trying to help, and from their own government. During their down time, the Catkillers were sometimes immersed in "hate sessions." They vented about the indifference of the South Vietnamese, the baffling decisions made by the military bureaucracy, which sometimes cost the lives of their comrades in arms, and the frustrations of being caught in limited warfare, trying to save American lives but not allowed to invade North Vietnam.

A news correspondent who had served in World War II was at one of these "hate sessions." He said the experiences he'd seen in the 1940s, servicemen struggling to preserve each others lives in the face of lack of support and seemingly absurd decisions from further up the hierarchy, were being repeated "with only cosmetic differences" in Vietnam. I found this disheartening on many levels, and I suspect the same issues are being faced -- again, with only cosmetic differences -- by our troops in Afghanistan and Iraq.

Some accounts of war play on our emotions in a very intentional way, striving to send the obvious message that "war is hell." Others glorify war. A Hundred Feet Over Hell does neither. It simply tells the soldiers' stories, very personal stories of courage, fear, grief, and pride in a job well done, in what David Mitchell at BiblioBuffet aptly called a "concise but literate style." This is an important work of contemporary history and a powerful tribute to men who devoted themselves to protecting their brethren.

Many thanks to Lisa Roe for providing me a copy of this book to review.  

Read More Reviews: OrvilleVille; Cessna Warbirds; My Book Retreat; HistoryMike; BiblioBuffet

Rating: 4.5

5- Cherished Favorite	4 - Keep in My Library	3 - Good Read	2 - Meh	1 - Definitely Not For Me