The Tall Man AKA The Secret (2012)

 
The  theme of the 'wronged mama bear,' where every mother's worst fear is realized, stands as a common trope in horror and thriller films, and "The Tall Man" is no exception. This is better than "Flightplan," thank God, and puts a new spin on the worn theme of the child being snatched from the arms of the protective parent. Above all, it sports a pretty wicked twist, one that is unpredictable without being totally out there or ludicrous.

   I never would have picked up this movie if it weren't for director Pascal Laugier's previous film "Martyrs." The trailer to "The Tall Man" looked to be in kind of lame standard thriller-ish territory, so I decided to avoid it. When I finally got to watching it, I was pleasantly surprised. This is a well written, directed, and acted movie.

   Content-wise this isn't even in the same ballpark as "Martyrs," although I did see it got a nice 'R' rating from the MPAA. "The Tall Man" stars Jessica Biel as Julia, a nurse who seems to serve as a friend, neighbor, and basically a helping hand to everyone in the small town of Cold Rock, Washington. The children of Cold Rock are being abducted by a mysterious force known as the "The Tall Man," disappearing without a trace and baffling the local police force.


Julia has a son, David (Jakob Davies,) and periodically visits local woman Tracy (Samantha Ferris) and her teenage daughters, Carol (Katherine Ramdeen) and silent Jenny (Jodelle Ferland.) Tracy's boyfriend Steven (Teach Grant) impregnated Carol and menaces Julia when she comes to the house to check on the infant. He oozes class.

   When David is taken from Julia, Julia will do anything to get the boy back. The cool thing about this movie is that it takes you one one way and then- *BAM*-it steers you in a completely different direction. I won't tell you if the crimes of 'The Tall Man' are supernatural or not, because what would be the fun of that?

  Suffice to say it's fresh and exciting, Biel makes a adequate scream queen, and Jodelle Ferland is great as always. Jacob Davies (as the son) can't really act and settles on being mildly perturbed, but give him time. The supporting cast is good too. Samantha Ferris and Colleen Wheeler, as the mother of one of the disappeared kids are the standouts.

   One of the problems with the script is that Julia seems at parts to be too much of a 'supermom.' Between battling an attack dog and clinging to (and being dragged by) a abductor's van, it's a wonder this woman has the energy to get up in the morning. Altogether, though, this is a sadly underrated and overlooked horror/thriller.
                                              Rating-
                                                    7.5/10

Tideland (2005)

"Tideland," Terry Gilliam's fantastical horror brain child, is an undeniably original, unmistakably repulsive journey into the life and mind of one troubled little girl (Jodelle Ferland.) To say it outstays it's welcome it an understatement, the film clocks at over two hours and leaves an undeniably bad taste in one's throat. The characters are hard to comprehend, much less like or understand.

   All this would be bad enough without the bizarre intro by Terry Gilliam, who vaguely informs us that children 'bounce back' from situations such as these and tells us 'don't forget to laugh.' But what is there to laugh at in a disgusting horror show such as this?  it's as if Dave Peltzer of 'A Child Called It' fame had promised us a knee-slapping good time.

The Cabin in the Woods (2011)

Fast-paced, gory, and with a razor-sharp sense of humor, "The Cabin in the Woods" borrows elements from older horror films and twists them around, making them its own. Never since "Tucker & Dale Vs. Evil" have I seen such originality and creative scriptwriting in a modern horror-comedy.

 "The Cabin in the Woods" is truly a marvel to watch, and stands as an excellent addition to co-writer Joss Whedon's repertoire. The plot starts out "typical" and soon reveals itself to be a lot murkier (and more awesome) than it initially seemed.

   Five friends- innocent Dana (Kristen Connolly), "cool dude" Curt (Chris Hemsworth), slutty Jules (Anna Hutchinson), amusing pothead Marty (Fran Kranz), and sensitive guy Holden (Jesse Williams) go off on a trip to a cabin in the woods. Marty quickly establishes himself as my favorite, with his pseudo-profound pot-addled ramblings and surprising perceptiveness.

Cabin in the Woods: Spoilers! Read After Watching the Movie

Spoilers! Proceed at your own risk.

If you ever wanted to see a film that ends with two people, splattered in blood and guts, sharing a joint at the end of the world -- this is your movie.

Now there's a line I never thought I'd say. But seriously, how awesome was that scene? :-)

I have to say up front that I am not a big fan of horror movies, gore, or general campiness. Maybe it's because I came of age in an era before modern special effects. I mean seriously -- who really wants to see a creepy undead kid running around in a hockey mask? So while I was looking forward to this movie for a bit of light-hearted, cringeworthy fun with the husband and teens, I wasn't expecting much.

Who thought I would love it and confer a rare 5-star rating? Only Joss Whedon, the crazy man who made me fall insanely in love with cowboys in space, could've pulled that off.

The Cabin in the Woods sets up a typical cliche-ridden horror flick, the kind teenage guys can take their dates to for a quick scare. A group of college kids heading off for a weekend getaway at an isolated cabin in the woods. Loads of sexual tension. The creepy guy at the gas station at their last stop before reaching the cabin. The group's first foray into the lake. And of course they go into the basement. But we quickly see there's a twist -- it's kind of a cross between Friday the 13th/Texas Chainsaw meets The Truman Show. Unbeknownst to them, the five friends are having their vacation experience choreographed in a particularly perverse way as part of a Lovecraftian scheme to appease the ancient spirits.

One couple has even been drugged to ensure they'll fit tired horror movie tropes. The cute blond pre-med student is suddenly acting like a bimbo, and her bookish sociology major boyfriend has become an obnoxious alpha male, openly gloating over the hotness of his girlfriend. Go figure. :-)

The group also includes "the virgin," who isn't actually a virgin ("The Director" later comments "These days, we'll take what we can get"), her prospective boyfriend, and their stoner buddy with a penchant for conspiracy theories. The stoner, Marty, is at one point referred to as "the fool." But he's actually the cleverest of the lot, despite carrying an over-sized bong that put my misspent youth to shame and spouting a lot of pseudo-profundity that could only be the result of a THC-addled mind. Like the fools in Shakespeare's tragedies, he is the one who speaks the truth. After all, the thing about conspiracy theories? You're only crazy if you're wrong.



Eventually, as in a video game, the intrepid survivors stumble onto the final level and have the opportunity to face the perpetrator of their suffering. My son (and resident gaming expert) pointed out that some shots were reminiscent of third-person video games. There is also this wonderful scene in which we get a peek at myriad creatures held in reserve for unwary victims. In this world, with a nod to Orwell, everyone gets his personal Room 101. Oh, and I thought the ending rocked.
  
If you look at this movie as a satire of -- or more aptly as a homage to -- movies, video games, and the campy horror genre -- it works on that level. It's smart and well-crafted, and it  offers a wealth of entertaining references to games and films -- even I picked up on some of these, and I am neither a gamer nor a horror aficionado. By gleefully playing with technology vs. reality, and with its pastiche of horror movie and futuristic elements, self-referential humor, and video game imagery, this is also a fabulous tribute to postmodernism in film.

Yes, that is Marty's over-sized bong. Like Chekov's gun, it comes into play. ;-)

But The Cabin in the Woods doesn't stop at playing with its genre. Like a predator with its prey, the film toys with the material for a while before ripping it apart. In doing so, it creates something entirely new.

More importantly, it's a unique, imaginative, funny movie featuring intelligent dialogue and magnificent storytelling.  There's also enough gore to satisfy viewers who count slasher flicks among their guilty pleasures.  It's definitely one of the most original, entertaining movies I've seen in recent memory.

Other Fun Stuff: 

• Houston Press: Top 10 Cabin in the Woods movies 
• Unreality Mag: Concept Art for The Cabin in the Woods